The SAINT
MUST WALK ALONE
-by A.W Tozer.
Most of the world's great souls have been lonely. Loneliness seems to be one
price the saint must pay for his saintliness.
In the morning of the world (or should we say, in that strange darkness that
came soon after the dawn of man's creation), that pious soul, Enoch, walked with
God and was not, for God took him; and while it is not stated in so many words,
a fair inference is that Enoch walked a path quite apart from his
contemporaries.
Another lonely man was Noah who, of all the antediluvians, found grace in the
sight of God; and every shred of evidence points to the aloneness of his life
even while surrounded by his people.
Again, Abraham had Sarah and Lot, as well as many servants and herdsmen, but who
can read his story and the apostolic comment upon it without sensing instantly
that he was a man "whose soul was alike a star and dwelt apart"? As far as we
know not one word did God ever speak to him in the company of men. Face down he
communed with his God, and the innate dignity of the man forbade that he assume
this posture in the presence of others. How sweet and solemn was the scene that
night of the sacrifice when he saw the lamps of fire moving between the pieces
of offering. There, alone with a horror of great darkness upon him, he heard the
voice of God and knew that he was a man marked for divine favor.
Moses also was a man apart. While yet attached to the court of Pharaoh he took
long walks alone, and during one of these walks while far removed from the
crowds he saw an Egyptian and a Hebrew fighting and came to the rescue of his
countryman. After the resultant break with Egypt he dwelt in almost complete
seclusion in the desert. There, while he watched his sheep alone, the wonder of
the burning bush appeared to him, and later on the peak of Sinai he crouched
alone to gaze in fascinated awe at the Presence, partly hidden, partly
disclosed, within the cloud and fire.
The prophets of pre-Christian times differed widely from each other, but one
mark they bore in common was their enforced loneliness. They loved their people
and gloried in the religion of the fathers, but their loyalty to the God of
Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, and their zeal for the welfare of the nation of Israel
drove them away from the crowd and into long periods of heaviness. "I am become
a stranger unto my brethren, and an alien unto my mother's children," cried one
and unwittingly spoke for all the rest.
Most revealing of all is the sight of that One of whom Moses and all the
prophets did write, treading His lonely way to the cross. His deep loneliness
was unrelieved by the presence of the multitudes.
'Tis midnight, and on Olive's brow
The star is dimmed that lately shone;
'Tis midnight; in the garden now,
The suffering Savior prays alone.
'Tis midnight, and from all removed
The Savior wrestles lone with fears;
E'en the disciple whom He loved
Heeds not his Master's grief and tears.
- William B. Tappan
He died alone in the darkness hidden from the sight of mortal man and no one saw
Him when He arose triumphant and walked out of the tomb, though many saw Him
afterward and bore witness to what they saw. There are some things too sacred
for any eye but God's to look upon. The curiosity, the clamor, the well-meant
but blundering effort to help can only hinder the waiting soul and make unlikely
if not impossible the communication of the secret message of God to the
worshiping heart.
Sometimes we react by a kind of religious reflex and repeat dutifully the proper
words and phrases even though they fail to
express our real feelings and lack the authenticity of personal experience.
Right now is such a time. A certain conventional
loyalty may lead some who hear this unfamiliar truth expressed for the first
time to say brightly, "Oh, I am never lonely. Christ said, 'I will never leave
you nor forsake you,' and 'Lo, I am with you always.' How can I be lonely when
Jesus is with me?"
Now I do not want to reflect on the sincerity of any Christian soul, but this
stock testimony is too neat to be real. It is obviously what the speaker thinks
should be true rather than what he has proved to be true by the test of
experience. This cheerful denial of loneliness proves only that the speaker has
never walked with God without the support and encouragement afforded him by
society. The sense of companionship which he mistakenly attributes to the
presence of Christ may and probably does arise from the presence of friendly
people. Always remember: you cannot carry a cross in
company. Though a man were surrounded by a vast crowd, his cross is his alone
and his carrying of it marks him as a man apart. Society has turned against him;
otherwise he would have no cross. No one is a friend to the man with a cross.
"They all forsook Him, and fled."
The pain of loneliness arises from the constitution of our nature. God made us
for each other. The desire for human companionship is completely natural and
right. The loneliness of the Christian results from his walk with God in an
ungodly world, a walk that must often take him away from the fellowship of good
Christians as well as from that of the unregenerate world. His God-given
instincts cry out for companionship with others of his kind, others who can
understand his longings, his aspirations, his absorption in the love of Christ;
and because within his circle of friends there are so few who share inner
experiences, he is forced to walk alone. The unsatisfied longings of the
prophets for human understanding caused them to cry out in their complaint, and
even our Lord Himself suffered in the same way.
The man who has passed on into the divine Presence in actual inner experience
will not find many who understand him. A certain amount of social fellowship
will of course be his as he mingles with religious persons in the regular
activities of the church, but true spiritual fellowship will be hard to find.
But he should not expect things to be otherwise. After all he is a stranger and
a pilgrim, and the journey he takes is not on his feet but in his heart. He
walks with God in the garden of his own soul - and who but God can walk there
with him? He is of another spirit from the multitudes that tread the courts of
the Lord's house. He has seen that of which they have only heard, and he walks
among them somewhat as Zacharias walked after his return from the altar when the
people whispered, "He has seen a vision."
The truly spiritual man is indeed something of an oddity. He lives not for
himself but to promote the interests of Another. He seeks to persuade people to
give all to his Lord and asks no portion or share for himself. He delights not
to be honored but to see his Savior glorified in the eyes of men. His joy is to
see his Lord promoted and himself neglected. He finds few who care to talk about
that which is the supreme object of his interest, so he is often silent and
preoccupied in the midst of noisy religious shoptalk. For this he earns the
reputation of being dull and overserious, so he is avoided and the gulf between
him and society widens. He searches for friends upon whose garments he can
detect the smell of myrrh and aloes and cassia out of the ivory palaces, and
finding few or none, he, like Mary of old, keeps these things in his heart.
It is this very loneliness that throws him back upon God. "When my father and my
mother forsake me, then the Lord will take me up." His inability to find human
companionship drives him to seek in God what he can find nowhere else. He learns
in inner solitude what he could not have learned in the crowd - that Christ is
All in All, that He is made unto us wisdom, righteousness, sanctification and
redemption, that in Him we have and possess life's summum bonum.
Two things remain to be said. One, that the lonely man of whom we speak is not a
haughty man, nor is he the holier-than-thou, austere saint so bitterly satirized
in popular literature. He is likely to feel that he is the least of all men and
is sure to blame himself for his very loneliness. He wants to share his feelings
with others and to open his heart to some like-minded soul who will understand
him, but the spiritual climate around him does not encourage it, so he remains
silent and tells his griefs to God alone.
The second thing is that the lonely saint is not the withdrawn man who hardens
himself against human suffering and spends his days contemplating the heavens.
Just the opposite is true. His loneliness makes him sympathetic to the approach
of the brokenhearted and the fallen and the sin-bruised. Because he is detached
from the world, he is all the more able to help it. Meister Eckhart taught his
followers that if they should find themselves in prayer and happen to remember
that a poor widow needed food, they should break off the prayer instantly and go
care for the widow. "God will not suffer you to lose anything by it," he told
them. "You can take up again in prayer where you left off and the Lord will make
it up to you." This is typical of the great mystics and masters of the interior
life from Paul to the present day.
The weakness of so many modern Christians is that they feel too much at home in
the world. In their effort to achieve restful
"adjustment" to unregenerate society they have lost their pilgrim character and
become an essential part of the very moral order against which they are sent to
protest. The world recognizes them and accepts them for what they are. And this
is the saddest thing that can be said about them. They are not lonely, but
neither are they saints.
~(Tozer extract from his book: 'The Dwelling Place of God').